Separation of Pooja and Monthly cycles is a norm followed in our family. During these few days, I don’t enter the pooja mandir and it has been followed since the beginning. It is just a part of my and every other woman’s life living with families. All that I had learnt regarding periods slowly but gradually crumbled when I began my sadhana. A few months after starting Sadhana, I didn’t want to stop when I got my periods. So I chose to sit elsewhere in a comfortable place to do Mansik Japa. I did it without anything like mala or diya. I just used an electric japa counter that I had bought specifically for those days.
I did the mansik rituals while I sat in a way that would help me bear with the pain. But it dint vanish and I used to rush to complete japa. Many cycles went by where I followed this sincerely. But the cramps dint help me concentrate or go deeper at all. The physical pain would always get my attention and I did my Sadhana mechanically. Since mindless chores during periods are so common for women wherein we just go with the flow by bearing the pain or pop some pain killers to numb it and get on with life.
One day I was in pain the whole day that continued even when I went to sleep at night. So I just started to repeat to myself that “I will not think of it as pain and view it as a process to help feel her in me”. I was repeating this in my mind all the time. At first I didn’t realise what I was doing but eventually this thought kind of ingrained in me for a few cycles. Thereafter I realised that I was submitting that pain in turn for wanting her to be with me. A new sign!
Guruji has also stated in the video that if it is physically not possible for any women they can skip Sadhana. This felt like a boon in the beginning but I did sometimes feel like I was deceiving myself.
The reason was because I remembered that while I was in the middle of an exam, I got my periods with excruciating cramps. This didn’t make me stop but I continued writing at a slower pace with a terrible handwriting and complete it. So, if I could continue that mandatory exam then why should I stop my Sadhana by thinking about pain.
This thought made me more confident and I decided to push through and continue the rituals for the very first time. It was an opportunity presented by Maa to rewire my own system and break free from all the previous notions I had on periods. It felt good seeing that I had acquired more courage by the grace of Maa Adya and Bhairav Baba. But as the days neared to my periods, I did worry about cramps and deflected those kind of thoughts immediately.
The day I started to bleed, I followed my usual routine. I began thinking about its semblance to Kumkum. When a woman applies kumkum or when she checks for her period the stain it leaves on skin is similar. It’s just that the former was taught to be Godly while the latter was evil. But that day Maa showed me that both are one and the same and with this thought in the back of my mind, the cramps gradually increased. My mind was filled with so many questions. But I began mansik jap for a while and thought about Maa. I started to breathe deeper and then I got the sign!
I stood up and went to sit for sadhana. I did all the rituals and was breathing slowly and the pain alleviated. After completing, I felt a simultaneous death and rebirth of thoughts within me. Maa taught me a practical lesson!
The situation which I thought was always a hurdle has now transformed into a stepping stone. Maa Adya makes that which we think is against us into an opportunity to get more closer to her. We just need trust her and dig deeper within ourselves to find the hidden message -Period!
Jai Maa Adya
Om Sri Gurubhyo Namaha
Bhairava Kaalike Namosthuthe
Bhargavi
- By Bhargavi Shisya of Gurudev Shri Praveen Radhakrishnan